It’s getting so close…

40 is coming. 3 days away. 40. Gosh, I’m not prepared at all.
I’m way too immature to have acquired such notches on my timeline. Nostalgia permeates my days of late.
I look at the photos from my 30th. I look so young then. I see a different woman in the glass today. More wrinkles, more flab, more grief and worry. I long for the days when I thought I was invincible. Went to Mexico on a song and a prayer. Lived out of my tent on the beach and ate pescado fritas, got my huaraches swiped and ran from the corrupt policia who were trying to steal my passport. Traded my Swatch watch that my sister gave me, because I got robbed at a saloon. By two gringas who seduced me. I didn’t care about my life then. I didn’t give thought to my future. I was a morose and drama filled mujere who wanted to emulate my hippy friends. But it’s today. It’s now. It’s fast forwarding to 40. I’m concerned about mergers and acquisitions, expansions and my rung locale on the corporate ladder. I’m still a dichotomy between Wall St. and Greenwich Village. I lean towards this and sway back to that. I never wanted to be a grownup. Never had any respect for them. But here I am, in my facade, dressing for the boardroom. Ever my bored room. Who can separate my being? You? Me? Him? Her? Them?
Bohemian ways should prevail. I’d leave tomorrow if they’d just grab me.
It’s getting so close. So close to the sensible suits and the 40 year old haircut.
No stopping it now…

This entry was posted on Friday, September 1st, 2006 at 8:56 am and is filed under Deetails. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.