Dee is cool. (my place, my words, my stuff.)

Archive for May, 2006

Happy Memorial Day.

Tuesday, May 30th, 2006

This was an actual message in the subject line of an email I received yesterday.
Happy? Memorial Day. Man, that is just too much. What, exactly, is there to be happy about? The fact that millions of men and women died in wars all over the world protecting our freedom? Yeah. The fact that Angelina and Brad take precedence over the boys and girls who are dying right now in Iraq? Yeah. That we can watch Oprah buying diamond earrings for her guests, but we can’t see one face of one soldier who died because of an “executive order?” Yeah.
Does this seem rather fucked up to anyone but me?
How about this;
Sad Memorial Day. Sad, because no one gives a shit about those who’ve died before or are dying right now so that we can write on our Goddamned blogs. How about that,folks? Huh?
Yeah.

I’m leavin’ on a jet plane…

Monday, May 22nd, 2006

Don’t know when I’ll be back again. Oh babe, I hate to go. So kiss me and smile for me. Tell me that you’ll wait for me. Hold me like you’ll never let me go…
What a wheelbarrow load of crapola. Miss me? No way. I don’t want you to miss me. Because I don’t want to miss you. It’s just simpler this way. I loathe all of those “missing” antics. I can’t miss you. It would mean that you mean something to me. And I just can’t let you know that. It’s too hard. God always removes those that reveal themselves as loving me.
It’s true. Ask Ed. Ask Judy…Oh wait. You can’t. They’re dead.
I’m armoured against love. It is a fallacy and rumour spewed out by media execs. They make millions on those of you who fall prey…
So here’s the amended version of the famous John Denver tune; sing the words as you would the original.
So kiss me and smile for me. Tell me you won’t wait for me. Hold me like we’ll never hug again…
Because I will forget you. Try to push you out of my head. It’s too painful to pretend.
That you’ll be here ’til the end, be here to quiet my mind. Oh babe, leave me right now.
Because I’ll leave you before you leave me, just a way to show my disbelief.
Oh babe, I hate to go…
But gone I am.

It’s been awhile.

Friday, May 19th, 2006

Since I’ve fit myself into the uncomfortable chasm that is my story.
I get admonished by the avid readers for not spewing my guts on a more regular basis. But really, folks.
I don’t say much unless I have something to say. You should know this by now. I’m either uber-serious, or ultra tongue-in-cheek. Not much in the way of a middle ground. Things that I take a passion to, get my un-dee-vided attention. Things that make me uncomfortable, get my quick wit and sarcasm. Not really the enigma you conjoured up in your brain, am I?
Just a simple girl, wrung out with all the emotions of a string of seeming disappointments. Mine and yours. I carry your shit too, you know. Can’t help it. Bad genes. Or so it would seem to the Jerry Springer’s of the circuitous world.
I’m feeling morose and self-contemplating these days. Wondering in the big abyss, what I’m all for.
Help me, won’t you? Help me figure out what the heck I’m doing here.
What I’m doing here.
In your space.

99258

Saturday, May 6th, 2006

Nine-nine-two-five-eight.
What the Hell is that, you ask?
It is the mileage on my, (as a pal’s mum likes to call it) shitty little Nissan.
There’s a story here. Like you couldn’t guess, right?

It begins in 1987…With Ed. I lived in Orlando then. Had just moved from my weary trek across the Southern Hemisphere.

Ed was my closest friend in those crazy days. We were best buds. He was a high school math teacher and retired Marine. I was a daycare worker. He was 62 when I met him. His wife suffered with Alzheimer’s disease. Well, we all suffered with it really. Alzheimer’s is like that.

Ed and I just clicked. For two years we were like a father-daughter team. He’d show up at my softball games wearing our team-gay, neon pink shirt, so popular in the 80’s, you know. He’d bring ice-cold watermelon for us. He loved me. No matter what. My first real glimpse at the; no-strings-attached kind of love. We ate, laughed, walked, talked and cried. Together. He would laugh so hard at me when we drove onto the military base. The guard would salute us because of Ed’s rank, and I would salute back. But with my left hand. He thought it was hilarious. I didn’t mean to, it was just my “leftist” nature, I suppose.

His wife eventually had to go away. To a care facility. Ed had a daughter. But she lived in Atlanta and didn’t visit much. He loved her madly.
Like I said, I was working in a daycare facility. For next to nothing pay. I didn’t have two nickels to rub together, let alone a car. I either hitched, bussed or biked to work. Until Ed suggested that I use his daughters car.
A Nissan 200SX. Sporty, for the times, eh?

As in previous posts there is a significant name you must remember. Write it down if need be.
“Reed Nissan, Orlando.” Where Ed bought the car.
Hang on to that name until I continue…

(more…)

My happy-list.

Thursday, May 4th, 2006

Like you really give a crap about these, right? Too bad.
If you’re here, you must read on.
There are certain things about life on earth that please me. And I’m going to tell you what they are.
There is no order, no item more important than the other. Simply a gratitude list du jour. Lu will think her lectures have paid off…
1) Eye contact with kids. God, I love that. The smile that forms so apprehensively on the corner of their mouths.
2) A hug from my dog. Well, a laying-on of a big dorky poodle, really.
3) Having a whole unopened case of water.
4) Eating. With friends/family.
5) Bugs that escape the fire-ants.
6) Any night sky.
7) The smell, sight, sound of rain.
8) Any natural occurence that unfolds despite my presence.
9) Vacations with my sister.
10) E-mails from long-lost friends.
11) Making people proud of me.
12) Finding five bucks in my pants pocket.
13) Teaching someone something I know.
14) Putting a quarter in some strangers’ meter to impress a girl.
15) Having a quarter.
16) A wave from a driver in recognition for letting him in.
17) Sneezing.
18) Palm trees.
19) Butterflies. Both external and internal.
And…
20) Air conditioning!
There you go. 20 gratitude items. 5 days worth!
Stay tuned for the opposite of this list, which is what I was going to write in the first place. Ha.