It’s comin’ on Christmas…
It’s comin’ on Christmas, they’re cuttin’ down trees, puttin’ up reindeer, an’ singin’ songs of joy and peace.
I wish I had a river that I could skate away on…
Nobody nails that song better than Emily. No other words written by Joni Mitchell affect me so during the holidays, or any other time really. Those Girls have spanned my global world through thick and thin, this and that, here and there, love and lust, lost and found. 20 years of telling my story often…
It’s the here and back again that I speak of now.
There is a woman that assists in keeping my planets from spinning off into some fanatical orbit. And she doesn’t even know it. And there is a woman who tried gallantly today, to accomplish just that. Send me into orbit. I bet she knows it. Yup. DW fucked us today. I say “us” because I am responsible for the hearts and outcomes of those who matter to me. I’m still surprised by the bridges burned by the alledged mature. And if you try to hurt me, you succeed in hurting us all. I was reading old email postings tonight. There is a gift amongst the surface that you need to know about. If you care about me at all. The Christmas gift? Nope. The life gift. The thing that sustains and helps this whole whacked out fucking world make sense. The prophecy that wrote me back. Yet, a woman walked out on us today. It hurt. I take it internally. Personally. But a woman walked back into us today. I say “us” because she affects us all. Affects me as I take it out on you. I read our history and am awed. I am missing many pieces of my life this eve. My family, my friends, my hope for a perfect staff. My hope at all. But there’s this one glimmer in the moon that is full tonight. I see her. I feel her. But really…I need her.
She slips in and slips out but all the while she lifts me up. And, in turn, lifts us all.
It’s comin’ on Christmas, they’re cuttin’ down trees…I feel adolescence overwhelming me. And it’s all ok.
Because she came back. And so did I.
