Annie
It takes me years sometimes to get over and beyond the hurdles of hurt that I suffer. Suffer oftentimes, by my own actions, or lack thereof.
With Saxony, it took three. With Annie, my hurting comes and goes. Depending on the situation or with whom I’m reminiscing. On a professional level, I can chuckle and joke and remember fondly all the days she made us laugh, made me proud. On a personal level though, my wing was not large enough for me to take her under. And this is still ouchy.
We met during my ugly-days, as I like to call them. Wasn’t long before I was shuffled off to Navarre. She, very much my staunch defender. Annie and my sis drove there and back as my escorts of devotion. After Navarre, things were altered. I was altered. The capacity in which we needed to be in each other’s lives hadn’t quite fell into place.
Until…she lost her job. And found one with us. Now listen when I tell you that I really loved Saxony. But it was quite different with Annie. Annie had a spark. Lit up the fires under everyone’s asses, too! She could walk into a room and BAM! Kick it up a notch. Don’t mean to plagiarize you-know-who, but you get the point. She also possessed a kid-like persona that made you just want to make sure she was allright. Take care of her. Protect and nurture. I need those kinds of people in my life. They make up for my lack of child-rearing opportunities. There was/is always someone present like that for me, despite the fact that I never want any of them to leave me completely.
But Annie’s absence still leaves a mark. A scar. We all miss her. Miss her laughter, her good moods, her quickedness in catching on. But I miss her the most, I think. I wanted so much for her to replace me. To follow in the natural order of things on the corporate ladder. But again, I was foiled. I cannot speak for her.
And now I realize that I never could. But the, “What might have been’s,” still echo like a booming cacauphony in my ears. We never know how life turns out. Until it turns out. I won’t ever forget her, though. Whether or not we cast an eye upon one another again in this lifetime.
I can’t forget Annie.
And somehow I know that she can’t forget us either.