What I did on my summer vacation by Dee F.
Did you ever have to give those sorts of oral or written reports at the beginning of the new school year? I didn’t. So I’ll start now…
Imagine this scenario…
The garbage truck doesn’t show up this week. They don’t come as scheduled on Monday. You think; “how odd,” and phone WMI to inquire. They say; “we’re outta business.” You think; “WTF am I supposed to do with all this emm effing garbage on my driveway?”
The planet answers… “figure it out, beeotch!”
And so you do. You phone me up and ask what the hell all those Hornby Islanders do with their disposable disposables. I relay this story…
And this one…
And I ask the recycle guru, Annie, if she has any advice. She says; “Recycling makes me Hornby.”
And I can only reply, “Recycling makes Y’ALL Hornby.” There is no “I” in team, so it must mean that there’s an entire community that separates, divides and conquers their waste material. I saw it done. I had to participate in it. You shoulda seen the ginormous bag of cigarette butts that I accumulated over two weeks time.
So it goes like this, just in case we have to immediately stop being such a throw-away community; One smoke pack is divided into two- the foil and plastic are absolute garbage but the cardboard is a compostable. Milk cartons are now recyclable but please rinse and dry them as they smell foul if left to their own devices. Fruit, vegetable and nut shells are completely recyclable/compostable. However, meat bones should be hurled as far into the back 40 as you can throw, lest they attract vermin. Bacon fat and other middle-of-the road indecipherables should be fed quickly to Dookie before Gracie catches on.
Crossword puzzles that are incomplete should be hidden and immediately scrunched up and labeled as done. Completed crosswords should be placed in full view for an allocated time period before being placed in the compostables pile. Styrofoam is an absolute freak of nature and should be treated as an alien form of nonsense. DO NOT toss in any pile other than absolute garbage. We would prefer that you take styrofoam “off island.”
A word to smokers…it is me, a fellow human being and inhabitant of this Earth that had to clop your thrown away smoke ends. PLEASE, for the love of all things holy, find a fucking receptacle other than the ground we walk upon to toss your butts. Think of me, in an orange monkey suit, picking up your shit. Okay, don’t think of that exactly, but something along those lines. This goes double for Kelly. You know who you are!
So my dear friends, what I did on my summer vacation was learn. I learned how much I take for granted and how much a community can change if they band together. I am working out a plan in my head.
But I’m just not there yet.
Thank you to those Hornby residents who are the true and righteous stewards of our planet. We ALL can learn alot from y’all.
My summer vacation was an exercise in humility. My summer vacation was a gift. My summer vaction continues…